What Christmas means to us

Christmas in our house is a collection of small things. It’s John Denver’s Rocky Mountain Christmas, it’s Miracle on 34^th Street (The original) and it’s trimming the tree as a family. It’s a pretty simply tradition that we have; we always have a real tree and we each sort through the decorations finding the one’s that are special to us. We each take turns in picking our favourite music. Chris and I have been married 25 years and we have Christmas tree ornaments that go back to 1986. We have ornaments with names and dates and places on them. We have one special one that reads 'Our first Christmas together' Yes I understand that its a bit warm and fuzzy, but I would not trade it for anything. I have ornaments from Theatre’s that I have acted with and Chris has ornaments that she received while working on Capitol Hill. The girls have ornaments that they have picked over the years, which has now become a tradition.

Our tree is a symbol of our love for each other. It is the one time of year when no matter our differences we can all agree on a common thread. We still put Reindeer food out and leave cookies and milk for Santa (Although now we live in England it’s a Mince Pie instead of a Cookie)

There is something magical about watching the Polar express. The last words (and I paraphrase) “Over the years the bell has stopped ringing for my friends, and one year it stopped ringing for my sister. But at Christmas I still hear the sweet sound of that beautiful bell.” I hope your Holiday no matter how you celebrate it will be special and I hope you hear the music in your heart.

Happy Holidays…

When people have affairs, for the most part I believe it’s a substitute for their partner. I truly think the problem is that when we have lived with someone for so many years married or not, we become familiar and tired and while most men will go right to the sexy undies as a source of excitement in the relationship, it’s not always the case though.

It's not our fault, men are hardwired to go for the visual aspects of life and we think that sexy undies will save our marriage. The truth is, no amount of lingerie will do anything but make matters worse if the person waring it does not feel comfortable in it. What the secret is, I believe, is to be passionate about life and that will show up in the relationship. It’s not just women either who bare the brunt of this men have as much responsibility to show up as well. (Just not in lingerie, well, look it's your choice). The turn on, whether sexual, emotional, spiritual or intellectual, is by being passionate about it.

That at least for me has become the inspiration for a good relationship, that and being genuinely interested in your partner. You don’t have to like what they do, their music or choice of films, what we need to do is be happy for each other, in that we are passionate about our lives and in turn passionate people. If passion is what you bring to the relationship, the rewards will me unlimited. Show up and the world will show up with you.

Live passionately, ask why!

The Courage To Be Brave.

Tonight, I saw my oldest daughter Erin, perform in her last school play. She played the role of Tituba in The Crucible. She was wonderful, and I, as any parent would be, am very proud.

But it was not the role she played or how well she performed that made me the most proud. It was the understanding, that in-between all of the crying and complaining that has gone on over the last few months. In-between rehearsals, which have taken up most of the families lives, and  the never ending issues with learning lines and being a taxi driver for Erin and many of her friends. While all of this was going on something else was happening. Erin was growing up. Suddenly tonight I realised that she is not a little girl any more and while she may not yet be a woman she has become her own person.

I was taken by how brave she is to get up in front of total strangers, completely vulnerable and show to the world, who she is. I am so proud of her willingness to step above the parapet with confidence and be willing to fail, but in that moment of willingness, she shone and succeeded. As a Dad I am so very proud of who she has become and a little sad to see my little girl move on.

We forget sometimes as parents that it takes courage to be different.

Lee

Why Give Thanks?

I was explaining to my six year old what Thanksgiving was about. How the first settlers to America lived through a harsh and unexpected winter. Many of their numbers died because of the elements they were unprepared for. How they were befriended by the Native Americans who taught them to plant and grow food, and shelter from the elements.

At the end of the first year the settlers and the Native Americans sat down as one and shared a simple meal to celebrate the success of their first year and making it through sometimes, unbelievable odds. In those first months of that first year it took courage and determination, it took faith and most of all it took acceptance, trust and belief in others.

How did those same Native Americans suddenly become savages and less than human? How did they become the enemy in their own land? Have we come further today or do we still only see the differences today that we saw then? We should give thanks for everyone no matter their skin colour or language, sex or religion. Life is too short a ride to waste it on the grumblings of petty differences.

Give thanks, not opinion.