The Importance Of Finding Your Tribe

I know I have written a lot about the fact that I am competing in the London Triathlon and I apologies for the fact that it might seem a little gratuitous. What I have discovered in the writing though has surprised me, not just about my fitness, but about the things that I have discovered about myself and others who are on a similar personal quest.

Tonight was an open water session and there was not a a one of us who, while excited was also a little nervous about hitting the lake and feeling that cold water take your breath away. 

Today though was about after the session. We meet at Denham Lake every Thursday, the place is both beautiful and serene and at the same time rustic and a little rough around the edges. The thing that I realised tonight though, was that we had become a Tribe and in that Tribe we have found a common ground.

In the 38 of us that have signed up for this years event, the age, athletic level and personal goals differ. We have one member of the Tribe who has just completed the Lanzarote Ion Man and then at the other end we have a member of the Tribe who is working on building up to actually being able to complete the 750 swim as the swim leg member of a team. Thing is though, in the club house tonight we also had every level of employee role from the head of the organization to a couple of front line retail employees and everything in between. What struck me was in becoming this Tribe, there was no rank and no talk of work. We were there for other reasons; friendship, commonality, a combined sense of purpose and personal challenge. We were there to support each other and talk openly of triumphs and challenges. We shared a beer. We laughed at our common musings and ribbed each other in jest. But our common sense of being, our identity as a Tribe with a common cause, was apparent.

It makes me think, as we are growing up as children and then on into young adults, do we steer away from what we know is our Tribe because of peer pressure or because of our parents opinions. Our Tribe may not be what we think of as conventional, we may love our work but we may be only truly comfortable at the stamp collectors club or within the Theatre community and maybe then only within the group of unsung heroes who make up the Tech Team. It may be we find our true family as the volunteers who put on Triathlon events and not the ones who participate. What you do is less important than being a part of the Tribe who you do it with. When I lived in America I owned a Jeep Wrangler and every time I drove by another person in a wrangler we waved. It was only wranglers and not other jeeps. But is was being part of that Tribe which made it cool.

What is your Tribe? What is it that makes you feel a sense of belonging? How can we support our children by helping them find their Tribe.

Be Well!

What Do The Medals Mean?

Today I realised I had started to accumulate a bunch of medals and brightly coloured swimming caps and I wondered what they meant and why?  

Today I completed in my first open water swimming event, it was part of the Humanrace event program. Their tag line is ‘Humanrace Crossing The Finish Line Together.’ 

I started small, completing the 750 mtr event and I was ragged and thrilled at the end of it. Meanwhile, others were competing at the 1500, 3000, 5000 and 10,000 mtr, yes you did read correct Ten Thousand Metres!

As I stumbled out of the water exhilarated and weak, there was a guy waiting for me with a medal and some enthusiastic words of praise “Well done you made it, now you can relax.” as I stumbled he said “Not that relaxed.”

It struck me afterwards that as I get more and more into this weird passion I have found in my middle age years, I am starting a little collection of medals and swimming caps and I wondered what they meant. What they meant to me and others who got them? What did it say about me to other people? But most of all, how did it make me feel about who I have become. The answer to that question, like so many others that have to do with matters of the heart must start with a question; WHY? Why do we do what we do.

Several years ago at my previous place of work, there was a young guy who was a Triathlete. After much pondering and asking why and many questions, I came to the conclusion that there were two hopes of me doing a Triathlon, No Hope and Bob Hope and Bob Hope is dead. In 2013 in my current place of work I stumbled across our in house fitness program and there it was, a 5K race. In a moment of madness I signed up, I was putting on a little middle age spread and the training would be good for me. Then by osmoses I blundered into the Triathlon taking 7 of my colleagues with me. (They felt sorry for me) The following year it was 17 and this year we are up to 36. I know why they do it, they do it for themselves. It’s a statement of achievement and personal accomplishment. We do it because deep down inside there is a desire to try and be better than we see ourselves, better than other peoples doubts and societies limitations. I do it so that others might follow in the wake of their self doubt. It’s my way of leading, it’s a way of confirming my humanity and those who chose to challenge themselves and follow.

There is no right way to to this. Some strive to be better Teachers and Nurses, some want to be the best Parents and Partners others want to be amazing Carpenters and Waiters. The list is as endless as the imagination will allow. The point is, is it not about athletic prowess, it is about being the best, what ever thing it is that makes you smile and come alive, find that and you will find your happiness, take some people with you and allow them to be happy too, you have that power.

It's not about the medal it's about the person you become who receives the medal.

The Human Race, Crossing The Finish Line Together.