So Many Missed Opportunities.

In the mid eighties I was part of a team in a Domino’s Pizza in upstate New York. On one occasion we decided to send a couple of team members to the yearly Ithaca Festival, which was taking place in town. We kept them supplied with pizza to give away by the slice and in all it cost us a couple of hundred dollars (far less than any advertising and much more effective). One person came over with his wife to see what the commotion was all about and was heard to say “Why didn’t we think of that?” as he left grumbling. Obviously a competitor who had missed an opportunity. We got considerable good will from it and at least our return in sales.

Later that same year  I was listening to the local college radio station who were trying to raise funds for those in need at Thanksgiving. I called up the station and made a pledge on air to raise enough funds give away twenty turkeys. When asked how I would do that, I replied that every day all of my staff would give a ‘Quarter’, which is about 25 pence. They held me to the challenge and sure enough we raised the money which was matched by our Franchisee Bruce Stark. (something I had not factored in.) In the end we had raised more money than all of the other contributors put together. A lot of people benefited and again our return of goodwill was greater than we had expected, which I can say with a clear conscience was never the aim of what we did.

Over the years as a restaurant manager I have always given back to the communities that I was part of. I never did this with any goal other than to say thank you. I gave to schools and student car washes. I gave when local community members came and asked for support for their projects and always the return was greater than my investment. It’s part of being in the community. It is an honest exchange of goodwill.

So many times I see opportunities missed today. Simple things like going into a DIY store and seeing the worst toilets ever. Surely this should be a showcase for the business not somewhere that you fear for your life in. It would only make sense that you would want your customers leaving inspired to improve their own loo not inspired to visit the A&E.

I recently saw a Tesco’s with what looked like a prison warden on the door half an hour before closing refusing to allow a little old lady to use a shopping trolley. Seemingly they only allowed shopping baskets at that time of the day. Not the best customer service I have ever witnessed. A better idea might have been to help the lady shop and help her with the loading of her car afterwards. Again both parties would have benefited. But alas the short sighted employee with little investment in the company and no understanding of the meaning of service failed and gained a feeling of ill will.

Opportunities are everywhere and are available to all should you be inspired.

At This Festive Time Of Year.

"'At this festive season of the year, Mr Scrooge,' said the gentleman, taking up a pen, 'it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the poor and destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time. ... We choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt, and Abundance rejoices.'"

--  Charles Dickens

What Christmas means to us

Christmas in our house is a collection of small things. It’s John Denver’s Rocky Mountain Christmas, it’s Miracle on 34^th Street (The original) and it’s trimming the tree as a family. It’s a pretty simply tradition that we have; we always have a real tree and we each sort through the decorations finding the one’s that are special to us. We each take turns in picking our favourite music. Chris and I have been married 25 years and we have Christmas tree ornaments that go back to 1986. We have ornaments with names and dates and places on them. We have one special one that reads 'Our first Christmas together' Yes I understand that its a bit warm and fuzzy, but I would not trade it for anything. I have ornaments from Theatre’s that I have acted with and Chris has ornaments that she received while working on Capitol Hill. The girls have ornaments that they have picked over the years, which has now become a tradition.

Our tree is a symbol of our love for each other. It is the one time of year when no matter our differences we can all agree on a common thread. We still put Reindeer food out and leave cookies and milk for Santa (Although now we live in England it’s a Mince Pie instead of a Cookie)

There is something magical about watching the Polar express. The last words (and I paraphrase) “Over the years the bell has stopped ringing for my friends, and one year it stopped ringing for my sister. But at Christmas I still hear the sweet sound of that beautiful bell.” I hope your Holiday no matter how you celebrate it will be special and I hope you hear the music in your heart.

Happy Holidays…

When people have affairs, for the most part I believe it’s a substitute for their partner. I truly think the problem is that when we have lived with someone for so many years married or not, we become familiar and tired and while most men will go right to the sexy undies as a source of excitement in the relationship, it’s not always the case though.

It's not our fault, men are hardwired to go for the visual aspects of life and we think that sexy undies will save our marriage. The truth is, no amount of lingerie will do anything but make matters worse if the person waring it does not feel comfortable in it. What the secret is, I believe, is to be passionate about life and that will show up in the relationship. It’s not just women either who bare the brunt of this men have as much responsibility to show up as well. (Just not in lingerie, well, look it's your choice). The turn on, whether sexual, emotional, spiritual or intellectual, is by being passionate about it.

That at least for me has become the inspiration for a good relationship, that and being genuinely interested in your partner. You don’t have to like what they do, their music or choice of films, what we need to do is be happy for each other, in that we are passionate about our lives and in turn passionate people. If passion is what you bring to the relationship, the rewards will me unlimited. Show up and the world will show up with you.

Live passionately, ask why!

The Courage To Be Brave.

Tonight, I saw my oldest daughter Erin, perform in her last school play. She played the role of Tituba in The Crucible. She was wonderful, and I, as any parent would be, am very proud.

But it was not the role she played or how well she performed that made me the most proud. It was the understanding, that in-between all of the crying and complaining that has gone on over the last few months. In-between rehearsals, which have taken up most of the families lives, and  the never ending issues with learning lines and being a taxi driver for Erin and many of her friends. While all of this was going on something else was happening. Erin was growing up. Suddenly tonight I realised that she is not a little girl any more and while she may not yet be a woman she has become her own person.

I was taken by how brave she is to get up in front of total strangers, completely vulnerable and show to the world, who she is. I am so proud of her willingness to step above the parapet with confidence and be willing to fail, but in that moment of willingness, she shone and succeeded. As a Dad I am so very proud of who she has become and a little sad to see my little girl move on.

We forget sometimes as parents that it takes courage to be different.

Lee

Why Give Thanks?

I was explaining to my six year old what Thanksgiving was about. How the first settlers to America lived through a harsh and unexpected winter. Many of their numbers died because of the elements they were unprepared for. How they were befriended by the Native Americans who taught them to plant and grow food, and shelter from the elements.

At the end of the first year the settlers and the Native Americans sat down as one and shared a simple meal to celebrate the success of their first year and making it through sometimes, unbelievable odds. In those first months of that first year it took courage and determination, it took faith and most of all it took acceptance, trust and belief in others.

How did those same Native Americans suddenly become savages and less than human? How did they become the enemy in their own land? Have we come further today or do we still only see the differences today that we saw then? We should give thanks for everyone no matter their skin colour or language, sex or religion. Life is too short a ride to waste it on the grumblings of petty differences.

Give thanks, not opinion.

How To Be A Leader

The truth is there are a million books all telling us how to be a leader and they are all different. The first thing is to do is understand the distinction between Leader and Manager. 

A Manager is a person who manages tasks within a set of given circumstances. 

A Leader is a person who has a vision with no given circumstances and then turns that vision into reality either on their own or by inspiring enough other people to support them in the vision. While there is a cross over at times of Manager and Leader it should be understood that they are not the same and if you are waiting for someone to give you permision  you to Lead, then really you are a Manager and that's okay.

How to be a Leader:

1.  Have a vision that you believe in.
2. Take the intuitive to go for it. No one will give you permission that's what you will do for others.
3.  Enrol and inspire the right people into the vision who will support you. 
4.  Set out a plan of action. Do not get too caught up in the mechanics of the vision, that's what Managers are for. Get some good ones.
5.  Be flexible. Remember, it's better to be successful that right.
6.  Give permission for others to lead so they will not need to be managed, then get out of their way.
7.  Be willing to see it through or your team will give up.
8.  Be passionate.
9.  Believe in your team.
10. When you succeed give credit to all of those who went with you on the journey.

Most of all, have the guts to get up and do it. No one will tell you it's okay. No one will give you permission, in fact there will be plenty of people telling you it can't be done. There are millions of people just waiting for someone to Lead and it might as well be you. Leaders give permission for others to succeed. Leaders are in the 5% everyone else is waiting for you. Leaders celebrate the successes of others and create teams and dreams. So why not find your vision, create your Dream team and

GO FOR IT!

Who Owes You And How You Can Get It!

A basic understanding of ‘Who owes you what, why you deserve it and how you go about getting it’

Okay, so here is the basic principle of what you deserve and who owes it to you.

‘If two people are born at the same time and you are one of them, and, if you have the right to a good job and you deserve a nice house and good schooling for your children so that they can get a good education. And, after you have worked hard all your life and now need taking care of in the style to which you deserve. If you have the right to all these things, if you deserve all of these things, then which person who was born at the same time as you, has the responsibility to give them to you?

Does that same person not have the right to all of these things? And, surely they must also deserve the same things that would make your life fuller and more complete? If so, then who is bound by duty at birth to give them to you?

The truth is that we have the right to nothing at all, because if we did, then by virtue of this quandary some one would have to be bound to give them to us.

Well I have to assume that’s is not what you want to here? The truth is though that we are all in the same boat and the state of the world at present is due in part to the thinking that there will always be some one who will give us the things we deserve. Well in fact there is and it’s you! We all have the right to many things and many of us who work hard, serve our countries and pay our taxes, deserve the things we say we would like to have. But in the end there is only one person who will put you first in the pecking order, and that of course is you.

Go ahead, why not have the life you say that you deserve.