When people have affairs, for the most part I believe it’s a substitute for their partner. I truly think the problem is that when we have lived with someone for so many years married or not, we become familiar and tired and while most men will go right to the sexy undies as a source of excitement in the relationship, it’s not always the case though.

It's not our fault, men are hardwired to go for the visual aspects of life and we think that sexy undies will save our marriage. The truth is, no amount of lingerie will do anything but make matters worse if the person waring it does not feel comfortable in it. What the secret is, I believe, is to be passionate about life and that will show up in the relationship. It’s not just women either who bare the brunt of this men have as much responsibility to show up as well. (Just not in lingerie, well, look it's your choice). The turn on, whether sexual, emotional, spiritual or intellectual, is by being passionate about it.

That at least for me has become the inspiration for a good relationship, that and being genuinely interested in your partner. You don’t have to like what they do, their music or choice of films, what we need to do is be happy for each other, in that we are passionate about our lives and in turn passionate people. If passion is what you bring to the relationship, the rewards will me unlimited. Show up and the world will show up with you.

Live passionately, ask why!