John Locke Changed my life.

It’s strange the way ones life unfolds, one minute I was leaving the Army, the next I’m living in America. Then suddenly 25 years later I’m back home again in England.

Like many of my generation I have had several careers along the way. Military. Restaurant Manager. Sales and some other odds and sods. And like many, my life seemed to be a succession of near misses with what my dreams really were. One day in 1995 a young Franchisee I worked for, went into complete breakdown over a $15 mistake. The fact, that it was that significant and her happiness and wellbeing had come down this, made me reconsider what it was I wanted to do with my life and I quit on the spot. I should say that was the only time in my life I have ever done that.

You could say that she changed my life and maybe at that point it was the case.  At least it redirected it very quickly. While searching through the want adds I ran across a notice for a Musical Theatre Group that was holding open auditions for Guys and Dolls. (I know a lot of people are laughing now) I took a chance and got a part. It could be said, that was the changing point of my life, as I then went on to study Acting and Acted professionally for ten years. (Not something my wife thought was a great idea given the salary I was on as a Senior Manager.) It did have a huge impact on my life.

All of these and many more experiences had a significant effect on my life, but there was one thing missing. Permission! I don’t mean permission like when your mom says you can stay out late for the first time or when your partner says it’s okay to have a boy’s night out (but don’t come home to late). No, the permission I received from John Locke was of a very different nature and that is what has changed my life.

Many people my age have gone through life wanting something more and never quite being able to get there, I know that from past experience. For me it was just slightly out of reach and I didn’t know why. Many times as a young boy I was told that my writing was very good and was encouraged to write more. The problem was, I was a product of the 1960s British Education System. I’m sure some of you remember; it was the, ‘you’ll never amount to anything generation.’  But in 1996 when I finished my Acting Training the writing bug kicked in again. The love of writing I had as a kid had been revitalized and I was off. I wrote poetry and essays (Before blogging was popular) I wrote short plays and began and un-began books. I had found the passion in writing again and I had thousands of ideas.

Enter John Locke March19, 2013: Don’t worry John I’m not a stalker.

I was in ‘Waterstones Book Store’ looking for a copy of the ‘Children’s Writers and Artist’s Market.’ But what caught my eye instead was the Kindle display. In an instant I had one of those life-changing epiphanies. Technology was no longer a thing of the future it was the thing of now. We had become intertwined in the gadgets we used every day and our lives have changed forever. I love technology and how it has integrated into our lives (Mostly for the best) so I bought a Kindle Fire. I couldn’t wait to get this shiny little object home. At this point I have written and self published (The old fashioned way, don’t try this at home. NO REALLY!) three children’s books. They have become my children and I have seen them all come to life though self-publishing. However, they have had several birthdays without selling many copies. I have received a lot of nice feedback about the books and I am very proud of them, but sadly as John points out being self published and trying to compete in the major leagues is not an easy task. In fact it’s pretty near impossible. But in my hand I held the link that had been missing for me. As I thumbed through the options on Kindle and on YouTube trying to discover how to utilize this technology and finally I ran into John’s book, ‘How I sold I Million eBooks In Five Months’

It was not really about the amount of books, although that of course was a good motivation. It was the fact that another self-published Author had broken down the barriers and done it. Someone had overcome the stigma of being self-published of which the tidal wave will follow.

So I bought John’s book and low and behold he spoke to me and in the process of reading it my adventure was once again rekindled (Pun intended, hey I’m a Dad what can I say?) and John and I gave me the permission I needed. It’s not about the permission to write and be read, it’s the permission to say that one is a writer, and an Author. The permission to send you children out into the wide world and be proud of them and wish them luck, knowing that you may have made some mistakes along the way, but both will be okay. Permission to be wrong. Permission to be successful.

So I’m a Writer and an Author, it’s my passion. I’m a good writer, maybe not great but as John said, “I don’t suck.”

I am about to join the Army of self published Authors, get ready because here we come.

Today I gave my self permission to be the Author I always wanted to be and I gave one of my children permission to go out into the world and to live. 

 

A Life Without Judgement

As a child I was raised in a fragile environment which, by all accounts, could have gone one of several ways.  Being raised in my early years by my mother with an absent father, it was my grandfather who was my male influence. He was a kind and patient man but he had one major flaw; he was a racist and a chauvinist (a product of the era). Now in the 1960's we would not really have said that it was racism or chauvinism due to the fact that minorities were well, an extreme minority and women were, women (you know, a woman's place is in the home). I always found that odd as a little boy given that my grandma worked full time in a cotton mill (of course she was allowed to leave an hour earlier so that she could go home and cook my Grandfather's dinner). She got all the breaks. It was rare to see black people or openly gay or Chinese or anything other than white British people.

My Mother on the other hand, had great tolerance and empathy for everyone being, in a sense, a minority herself. As a divorced woman in the 1960's she was ostracized for her choice not to live in a violent home. When she went to open a bank account she was asked where her husband was. When she replied she did not live with her husband anymore the bank manager simply said, “don’'t be ridiculous woman, go away and come back with your husband.”

My mother learned first hand what it was like to be pushed to the edges of society in a male dominant world. What she lacked in resources she more than made up for in strength, character and dignity. She always took the side of the underdog and respect for others was the order of the day. She raised me to never judge others by the colour of their skin or by the education they did or didn’t have. She would always say that we are all equal irrespective of our nationality.

As I grew up I found it easy to get along with everyone no matter our differences and when I myself became a parent, I started to see it naturally in my children. My daughter Erin is always incensed when she experiences prejudice and racism in the world and has taught me the value of good character and respect. When Erin was six I was inspired to write a story for her called 'The Thing'. It was a combination of her love of family and friends and her indignation when people were treated unfairly; her desire to see justice even at that young age. I came to understand that hatred is not inherent it is taught. It is passed down from adult to child and it is based on fear. I believe that fear turns to loathing and loathing turns to hate and this is how wars are started.

Over the years that little book has been a reflection of how we try to live our lives, a life without judgment and a life with tolerance and empathy towards others. A life free of limitations placed on others due to their skin colour, their nationality or their sex.

www.leegwilkinson.com