A Life Without Judgement

As a child I was raised in a fragile environment which, by all accounts, could have gone one of several ways.  Being raised in my early years by my mother with an absent father, it was my grandfather who was my male influence. He was a kind and patient man but he had one major flaw; he was a racist and a chauvinist (a product of the era). Now in the 1960's we would not really have said that it was racism or chauvinism due to the fact that minorities were well, an extreme minority and women were, women (you know, a woman's place is in the home). I always found that odd as a little boy given that my grandma worked full time in a cotton mill (of course she was allowed to leave an hour earlier so that she could go home and cook my Grandfather's dinner). She got all the breaks. It was rare to see black people or openly gay or Chinese or anything other than white British people.

My Mother on the other hand, had great tolerance and empathy for everyone being, in a sense, a minority herself. As a divorced woman in the 1960's she was ostracized for her choice not to live in a violent home. When she went to open a bank account she was asked where her husband was. When she replied she did not live with her husband anymore the bank manager simply said, “don’'t be ridiculous woman, go away and come back with your husband.”

My mother learned first hand what it was like to be pushed to the edges of society in a male dominant world. What she lacked in resources she more than made up for in strength, character and dignity. She always took the side of the underdog and respect for others was the order of the day. She raised me to never judge others by the colour of their skin or by the education they did or didn’t have. She would always say that we are all equal irrespective of our nationality.

As I grew up I found it easy to get along with everyone no matter our differences and when I myself became a parent, I started to see it naturally in my children. My daughter Erin is always incensed when she experiences prejudice and racism in the world and has taught me the value of good character and respect. When Erin was six I was inspired to write a story for her called 'The Thing'. It was a combination of her love of family and friends and her indignation when people were treated unfairly; her desire to see justice even at that young age. I came to understand that hatred is not inherent it is taught. It is passed down from adult to child and it is based on fear. I believe that fear turns to loathing and loathing turns to hate and this is how wars are started.

Over the years that little book has been a reflection of how we try to live our lives, a life without judgment and a life with tolerance and empathy towards others. A life free of limitations placed on others due to their skin colour, their nationality or their sex.

www.leegwilkinson.com