One Person Can Change The World

Without warning I, and many of my friends turned around and realized that our children were in Upper Sixth. In America we would say, a ‘High School Senior.’ My little girl, and many like her, those other Upper Sixth formers who she has spent the last five years with, will soon be stepping out into the rest of their life. Soon it will be time to cut the umbilical chord and let her go.

But wait there was so much we didn’t get to do or say and there is so much I have to share. “Too late” we whisper with a tear in our eye it’s time to let them go out into the world, their world. They are off to leave their mark on their world. To take their dreams and share them with anyone who will listen.

Just know that your competition will be mothers returning to work after spending the last six years at home with their children and men who have been on the unemployment line for two years, who have sent out three hundred CVs and been on a hundred and twenty nine interviews. They do not want this job because they want to be in the service industry and make a difference in someone else’s life, they want the job because they are desperate to take any job they can get, even one they will hate and leave in a week. Many of these people are beaten and jaded and have taken their dreams and stuffed then into deep dark places where not even they can see them any more.

You on the other hand, while you may not have a glowing CV or years and years of experience have one thing that they do not have; unabashed enthusiasm and a naive belief that life is a journey and not a destination to get to. I implore you to do everything in your power to retain that naïve belief that life is an amazing ride to be experienced from beginning to end and not just a pool of water that you dip your toe into every now and then to see if the temperature is just right. Just remember it only takes one person to change the world.

 The Thing is available on Kindle and if you read it with your children I am sure it will start a dialogue about they way the world is. Just click the image and read part of the book. I am sure your children will have a lot of questions.

‘The Thing’ is a book that should be read by all. It is a story, which shows how if we are not careful things become more important than people. How coveting things leads to jealousy and jealousy turns to anger and then fear and loathing. If we are not careful loathing turns to hatred and it is hatred that causes war.

‘The Thing’ is a modern day parable that should be taught to children, because children hold they key. While in life you cannot have an up without a down, a left without a right or good without bad, I do believe that hatred and evil are something that are taught and learned not inherent within us at birth.

So please read this book and look at the world through the eyes of a child and see the world as a better place.

If anybody could do it then everybody would. Over the years I have wrestled with the statement; "If I can do it anyone can do it." That statement is simply not true and it's an insult to the person who is doing it. Incidentally 'IT' is what ever you want it to be. 'IT' Ranges from writing a book or loosing weight, running a marathon or getting a Masters Degree. The 'IT' part is up to you, but make no mistake, the ones who have done 'IT' have one thing in common and that is the one thing that they fail so many times to tell you; nobody did 'IT' for them! They were the ones who had to get their butt in gear and take that first step and then they needed to remain focused and maintain that focus to take the next step and the next. They were the ones who experienced the joy of success and the the misery of failure and there is plenty of both along the route.  But in the end they were the ones who stood alone and saw the winning post and over that line was the dream they said that anyone could have.

But in reality the others who did not get their Ass in gear and take that first step, the ones who played it safe and lived vicariously through the efforts of others, theirs can be a hollow victory.

So the next time you want to give someone some encouragement think twice about using your own accomplishments along with the statement 'If I can do it, anyone can.' You sell yourself short and you would be better off telling the person standing in front of you that the road will be long and lonely sometimes, but the joy of victory is sweet and will remain with you for the rest of your life.

The Man in The Cowboy Hat, The guy in the crowd.

On any given day the a guy in a cowboy hat might have been someone to avoid. One may not think twice about not saying high to the person standing next to you. If you stood two, or 2000 people next to each other, you might be hard pressed to find much more than a few things in common; or so we think. We have become disenfranchised from our fellow humans all too easily these day possibly due to the alarming amount of desensitizing information that is readily available via a myriad of mediums.

Possibly one of those moments in time was the coming together of thousands of people to celebrate human achievement at the Boston Marathon. It’s an historic event more than fifty years old, it’s a tried and proven celebration of mind and body.

It’s a beautiful day; the revelers are lining the sidewalks to cheer for family friends and fellow travelers who have chosen the push the boundaries of mind over matter. Those brave souls being cheered on by strangers who have one thing in common; spirit. The spirit of the heart brings them together. It’s the common bond, which allows total strangers to celebrate as one. To drop their guards, and their barriers, and to join together as one.

 In one fell move, their dreams are shattered by an act of unbelievable cruelty. Bombs in the midst of innocent people. People whose only common thread was to celebrate human dignity and courage. Quickly this moment of celebration is turned into a moment of compassion and bravery. In an instant, total strangers jump into survival mode to help others in need, others they do not know but who now have been drawn closer together by fear and kindness by loss and bravery. By Humanity. 

A man in a cowboy hat and a guy in the crowd. The man in the cowboy hat probably experiencing fear himself but not giving it a second thought as to the differences he and the victim of this senseless act may have. He simply sees a fellow human in need and rushes to his side to comfort and to help.

Why is it that one will sacrifice others  and others yet, would so easily sacrifice themselves to help a stranger? Why are so many preoccupied with what is different about the world and how that does not work and others yet are willing to look beyond those differences to see what will work? We have become things as a human race, and those things are what separate our commonalities and us. We are Black and White, Jew and Catholic, Gay and Straight, Man and Woman.

Is it those differences that are the driving force which make people hate enough to want to kill those who do not believe what they believe?

All we can do is teach our children that under all of the differences we have, we share, for the most part one common bond. The bond of Humanity and therefore we have much in common; much to celebrate. I have tried to pass this on to my own children in the hope that they will see beyond those boundaries to what we have in common and not that which keeps us apart. I wrote a book for my daughters which I have tried to live by, The Thing.

I recently went to visit my youngest daughters nursery school to speak with her Teacher about how she was settling in. My wife and I were impressed with the warmth and openness of the school and the availability of inspiring materials and options to stimulate our daughters young and active mind.

On the way out, we left through the main hallway of the primary school and on the walls were pictures of rocket ships each with a written statement in the children's hand writing declaring goals they each had for the year ahead. Things like, I want to spell better, I will read ten books by the end of the term and so on. One, caught my eye, and while I know it exhibited the child's knowledge of complex and technical writing skills, it also made me wonder about the statement and the approach to Teaching, it said: “I want to become a more creative writer by using connectives and conjunctives.” The problem is, as I see it, using connectives and conjunctives does not make you a more creative writer, it makes you a more technical writer. I believe what makes you a more creative writer is imagination and inspiration, daydreaming and experiencing, and the understanding of the Universe in which we live.  The technical aspect of course, is important, but I believe that without the other elements what you have is the technical information on how to change the wheel on a car or how to install a piece of software.

I looked up ‘Conjunctive’ in the dictionary and there was nothing in the definition which spoke of creative writing.

I believe that children are full of imagination and creativity and for the most part, lack the fear of embarrassment later exhibited when we become adults, to document the world they experience through writing, painting, acting, sculpting and all of the art forms available to them which express their ideas of how their world is.

It seems to be a common thread at the moment which is picking up steam that part of the solution to a child's education is allowing them space to discover how they learn best. What is the environment which sparks their interest and inspires them to want to learn more. There are programmes being put in place where Practitioners from different disciplines work hand in hand with Teachers in order to bring the element of experiential learning to the subject. An example of this would be to employ a person who has been an Actor to work with a Drama Teacher. While the Actor may not be an experienced Teacher they will bring with them their real life experience of working in Theatre for a living and while the Teacher may not have had that same experience they will know how to bring that to life in the classroom in order to make it accessible to the Pupils. As a team they bring a balanced approach to the lessons. 

My big fear  is that someone in upper management somewhere, will have the wrong idea that this kind of learning can be turned into a formula and then taught in the same way that Maths or English are being at the moment. (Which is not working for many children I hasten to add). The issue with this of course is that it then becomes a 'One Size Fits All' and we are back to where we started, with a system that does not work for many of it's Pupils. The best thing that can happen to this revolution is we give it back to the Teachers and Pupils so that they have the ownership. Trust that they will do what is needed and then give them the room to grow.

Live Passionately, ask why! 

John Locke Changed my life.

It’s strange the way ones life unfolds, one minute I was leaving the Army, the next I’m living in America. Then suddenly 25 years later I’m back home again in England.

Like many of my generation I have had several careers along the way. Military. Restaurant Manager. Sales and some other odds and sods. And like many, my life seemed to be a succession of near misses with what my dreams really were. One day in 1995 a young Franchisee I worked for, went into complete breakdown over a $15 mistake. The fact, that it was that significant and her happiness and wellbeing had come down this, made me reconsider what it was I wanted to do with my life and I quit on the spot. I should say that was the only time in my life I have ever done that.

You could say that she changed my life and maybe at that point it was the case.  At least it redirected it very quickly. While searching through the want adds I ran across a notice for a Musical Theatre Group that was holding open auditions for Guys and Dolls. (I know a lot of people are laughing now) I took a chance and got a part. It could be said, that was the changing point of my life, as I then went on to study Acting and Acted professionally for ten years. (Not something my wife thought was a great idea given the salary I was on as a Senior Manager.) It did have a huge impact on my life.

All of these and many more experiences had a significant effect on my life, but there was one thing missing. Permission! I don’t mean permission like when your mom says you can stay out late for the first time or when your partner says it’s okay to have a boy’s night out (but don’t come home to late). No, the permission I received from John Locke was of a very different nature and that is what has changed my life.

Many people my age have gone through life wanting something more and never quite being able to get there, I know that from past experience. For me it was just slightly out of reach and I didn’t know why. Many times as a young boy I was told that my writing was very good and was encouraged to write more. The problem was, I was a product of the 1960s British Education System. I’m sure some of you remember; it was the, ‘you’ll never amount to anything generation.’  But in 1996 when I finished my Acting Training the writing bug kicked in again. The love of writing I had as a kid had been revitalized and I was off. I wrote poetry and essays (Before blogging was popular) I wrote short plays and began and un-began books. I had found the passion in writing again and I had thousands of ideas.

Enter John Locke March19, 2013: Don’t worry John I’m not a stalker.

I was in ‘Waterstones Book Store’ looking for a copy of the ‘Children’s Writers and Artist’s Market.’ But what caught my eye instead was the Kindle display. In an instant I had one of those life-changing epiphanies. Technology was no longer a thing of the future it was the thing of now. We had become intertwined in the gadgets we used every day and our lives have changed forever. I love technology and how it has integrated into our lives (Mostly for the best) so I bought a Kindle Fire. I couldn’t wait to get this shiny little object home. At this point I have written and self published (The old fashioned way, don’t try this at home. NO REALLY!) three children’s books. They have become my children and I have seen them all come to life though self-publishing. However, they have had several birthdays without selling many copies. I have received a lot of nice feedback about the books and I am very proud of them, but sadly as John points out being self published and trying to compete in the major leagues is not an easy task. In fact it’s pretty near impossible. But in my hand I held the link that had been missing for me. As I thumbed through the options on Kindle and on YouTube trying to discover how to utilize this technology and finally I ran into John’s book, ‘How I sold I Million eBooks In Five Months’

It was not really about the amount of books, although that of course was a good motivation. It was the fact that another self-published Author had broken down the barriers and done it. Someone had overcome the stigma of being self-published of which the tidal wave will follow.

So I bought John’s book and low and behold he spoke to me and in the process of reading it my adventure was once again rekindled (Pun intended, hey I’m a Dad what can I say?) and John and I gave me the permission I needed. It’s not about the permission to write and be read, it’s the permission to say that one is a writer, and an Author. The permission to send you children out into the wide world and be proud of them and wish them luck, knowing that you may have made some mistakes along the way, but both will be okay. Permission to be wrong. Permission to be successful.

So I’m a Writer and an Author, it’s my passion. I’m a good writer, maybe not great but as John said, “I don’t suck.”

I am about to join the Army of self published Authors, get ready because here we come.

Today I gave my self permission to be the Author I always wanted to be and I gave one of my children permission to go out into the world and to live. 

 

A Life Without Judgement

As a child I was raised in a fragile environment which, by all accounts, could have gone one of several ways.  Being raised in my early years by my mother with an absent father, it was my grandfather who was my male influence. He was a kind and patient man but he had one major flaw; he was a racist and a chauvinist (a product of the era). Now in the 1960's we would not really have said that it was racism or chauvinism due to the fact that minorities were well, an extreme minority and women were, women (you know, a woman's place is in the home). I always found that odd as a little boy given that my grandma worked full time in a cotton mill (of course she was allowed to leave an hour earlier so that she could go home and cook my Grandfather's dinner). She got all the breaks. It was rare to see black people or openly gay or Chinese or anything other than white British people.

My Mother on the other hand, had great tolerance and empathy for everyone being, in a sense, a minority herself. As a divorced woman in the 1960's she was ostracized for her choice not to live in a violent home. When she went to open a bank account she was asked where her husband was. When she replied she did not live with her husband anymore the bank manager simply said, “don’'t be ridiculous woman, go away and come back with your husband.”

My mother learned first hand what it was like to be pushed to the edges of society in a male dominant world. What she lacked in resources she more than made up for in strength, character and dignity. She always took the side of the underdog and respect for others was the order of the day. She raised me to never judge others by the colour of their skin or by the education they did or didn’t have. She would always say that we are all equal irrespective of our nationality.

As I grew up I found it easy to get along with everyone no matter our differences and when I myself became a parent, I started to see it naturally in my children. My daughter Erin is always incensed when she experiences prejudice and racism in the world and has taught me the value of good character and respect. When Erin was six I was inspired to write a story for her called 'The Thing'. It was a combination of her love of family and friends and her indignation when people were treated unfairly; her desire to see justice even at that young age. I came to understand that hatred is not inherent it is taught. It is passed down from adult to child and it is based on fear. I believe that fear turns to loathing and loathing turns to hate and this is how wars are started.

Over the years that little book has been a reflection of how we try to live our lives, a life without judgment and a life with tolerance and empathy towards others. A life free of limitations placed on others due to their skin colour, their nationality or their sex.

www.leegwilkinson.com