Where is that sexy young girl I married?

A couple of years ago, I was in the process of creating a haven of romance in our house, while Chris and the girls are in the US with family. (Well actually I was Re-doing our bedroom, hoping that it will re-kindle that flame which once burned hot to the touch). Typically we just burn the candle at both ends and get to the end of the day with good intentions. but just pick up a good book instead.

During this process I began to realize what had happened to that ‘Sexy Young Girl’ I married. Turns out that she had got lost in that thing we call ‘Motherhood.’ I was cleaning out her bedside cupboard as the mystery began to unravel. Putting all of her personal items into a box the story began to unfold. First there was the usual make up and lotions, which are generally sold as snake oil, inferring that we can all look ten years younger if applied twice a day. Then there was a collection of toiletries that well meaning friends had bought over the years, but never used.

A stack of Christmas and Birthday cards. Memories of how time has slipped by so quickly. Cards for Paige who only yesterday we brought home from the hospital and who is now 6 ½. Cards for Erin who is 17 and who looks for all the world like the girl in the pictures from 30 years ago. Cards from me on our wedding anniversary, now 25 years. Small items of jewelry that the girls have made or bought, kept safe from harm so precious now to their Mother.

Items locked away in drawers made by little hands at school and given on Mothers Day. An item of clothing so long forgotten by it’s owner but kept as a door to the past when we were slimmer and with less smile lines. (When we went dancing)

This is where the ‘Sexy Young Girl’ I married lives now, in days of promise of the futures and glances back into the past. She lives within her daughters and through the birthday cards and handmade gifts and paintings of dogs and sisters. 

It is so much easier for men, we just look for that next adventure and we take off at a whim. Mothers cannot do that unless everyone goes. They don’t get to look for themselves in mid life. They simple find themselves in cards and hand made gifts from little hands.

I wake up every morning and there she is, that ‘Sexy Young Girl’ I fell in love with, lying right beside me. She is there beside me as we walk hand in hand along life’s road and she is still as sexy and as breath taking as she ever was.  And while the candle still tends to burn at both ends, it is also very hot in the middle sometimes.

Loosing our Innocence.

When I was sixteen I joined the Army. I was given a rifle and told (in not so many words) don't kill anyone unless you mean to.

In that first few months of being in the Army I crossed a line and lost my Innocence. At the time I didn't realise it but life had changed for me and I could never go back. When I came home on leave everything had changed, my friends, me, my position in life. Actually what had happened was I had changed, but everything else had stayed the same and not moved on much from where I had left it. Why should it? We were all only sixteen, we were in fact, still just teenagers. My friends saw life through a much more innocent set of circumstances than I.

I do not regret those choices I made, they have helped create who I am today.

I look at my daughter now, she is seventeen. She is trying so hard to be grown up but the truth is, she is still a teenager, a child. I like that and I understand that soon she will also have to become an adult. I don't want to hold her back or get in the way, in fact I want to do everything I can to prepare her for that day when she leaves home and is ready to take on the world on her own terms. But until that time comes she will be my little girl and that is fine by me.

A childhood is a precious thing and should be cherished, not abandoned and forgotten.

What If?

What could we do if......

Who could we be if.......

How far could we go...

How many could we inspire....

What would be possible?

How many could we feed and cloth and house...

How much love would there be to go around..

What if...?

What kind of world might it be if...?

Flight

I wondered

What it was like

To fly?

So I took a dream

And tied it together

With Desire

I guided it

With belief

And kept it going

With enthusiasm

And when there was a calm

In the wind

I pushed it along

With blind faith and commitment!

My dream grew wings

And I flew

The Best Rocky Road Rice Krispy Treats!

What you need:

A 9 inch baking pan or equivalent, must be at least 2 inches deep.

A pan of water

A glass bowl (Heat proof) to melt the chocolate in.

A Mixing Bowl

Rice Krispy's 

 One each, bar of cooking chocolate 150 Grams each

            White

            Milk

            Dark

Nuts of choice. Coarsely Copped, (I used mixed) one handful.

Large spoonful of Peanut Butter

Large Spoonful of Nutella

Icing sugar to sprinkle on top when finished

What you need to do:

1. Get the mixing bowl, large enough to mix contents in.
2. Break the bar of Milk Chocolate into squares.
3. Fill pan with water, but not so much that the bowl touches the water. (The bowl and pan must be of equivalent size). Make sure that no water gets into the chocolate as it will curdle and not melt.
4. Bring water to boil then reduce heat.
5. Place the squares of Milk Chocolate in the bowl and stir gently until melted. 
6. Add the spoon full of Peanut Butter, Nutella and Chopped Nuts, stir until smooth.
7. Add Rice Krispy's to the mixing bowl a little at a time and pour in the Chocolate mix until you have the texture you require. The chocolate, Peanut Butter, Nutella mix should cover all of the rice Rice Krispy's and bind them together.

Then:

When thoroughly mixed add the Rice Krispy mix to the baking pan and level the mix evenly in the pan. Then place in the refrigerator until firm. Aprx 30 minutes.

Then:

Melt the Dark Chocolate, remove the mix from the refrigerator and pour the Dark Chocolate over the Rice Krispy mix.

Replace back in the refrigerator for aprx 30 minutes.

Then:

Melt the White Chocolate.

You can either use the full bar of enough to drizzle over the Rice Crispie mix.

Put back into refrigerator until ready.

Sprinkle with Icing Sugar. Cut into squares of Rocky Road Rice Krispy Treats!

Bon Appétit 

50 years in the making.

I tuned 50 and suddenly the distance between great sex had gone from six days, to six weeks. I turned fifty and my eyesight had quietly faded, something I only realised when I failed the eyesight test when transferring my license from Maryland to Virginia. ( I should point out the woman administering the test was indignant about the fact that I couldn’t read the night time bottom row on the machine rather than the fact that I was apparently going blind) I had to drive with a limited license until I got glasses. How embarrassing. 

Daughter: "Daddy can we go to the mall tonight?"

Me: "Mommy will have to drive I can only drive in the day time." :(

I turned 50 and I was suddenly accused of having selective hearing, something that was brought on from eight years of firing a rifle while in the Army.

But the most unnerving thing about turning fifty in todays world though, is that how the world had changed. It has almost changed overnight and either the 50 something generation has embraced it or feel like they have been left out in the cold, confused and adrift. The industrial era high point, was in fact a lot longer ago than we realise, in fact, I left school in 1971 and factories were already closing down then. It seems like we turned 50 and at half time the rules of the game and the referee changed, but the playing field seemed to stay the same. (This was not the case) This, along with the advice of politicians, business leaders and well meaning family and friends changed while we were busy with our heads down and working hard, but we failed to see the warning signs.

Have all the skills that were so hard won just disappeared or are they transferable? Has the process of moving from the Industrial Era to one of Service and Technology really left us behind or are so many of my generation just unwilling to let the past go and move on, learn something new and rise to the occasion? There was a time when television and radio were the new technology. Maybe the speed in which they moved was just a little slower then.

The question is and should be; what do we do with the experience we have and the skills we have acquired? How do we transfer those skills into a useful tradable currency? Well the truth is that not much has changed at all. We still need a place to live and food to eat, clothes to wear and something to keep us occupied. We still have family and friends who are and should be the most important thing in our lives and the largest tradable currency is still relationships. Factories and manufacturing may have disappeared but the skills needed to succeed in them have not changed. No matter where we are and what we are doing for the most part we need to have a relationship with someone else in order to achieve our goals.

I think the reason for the distance in great sex, is due to the way we feel about ourselves and not the age that we are at.

Looking For Space

John Denver, poet, singer songwriter, activist and pilot. His real name was Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr. Born December 31, 1943 and sadly died on October 12, 1997.

He left behind family and friends and a legion of fans, who loved his music. He also left behind a gift of songs and stories that live on to this day and still inspire many with their words of comfort and dreams.

It is interesting to see that in his early days John Denver had to promote himself because the record label he was with did not see a lot of hope for him. This was even after ‘Leaving on a Jet Plane’ had gone to number one in the charts. It is inspiring to think that with all the odds against success, he was unwilling to give in.

Sadly he leaves behind an empty space in our hearts and I am sure, so many stories left untold.

Click on the link to listen to 'Looking For Space'