The Thing About Sex At Sixty

The Thing About Sex At Sixty

The thing is, when I was in my twenties there were two trains of thought in my head.

•        People who were sixty probably did not have a sex life, so I should have as much of a sex life now as I could. (By that I don’t mean in the stereotypical fashion of men, hunting down pray and conquering it) No I was very happy with one partner, but I wanted to get my quota of sex before that little 1% thing stopped working.

•       The other thought was a non-thought really. I say non-thought because every time the idea popped into my head, I muffled it’s plea for attention with a pillow. The thought was, what would life be like for me at sixty without sex? What would I do to while away those nights of impotence and longing but not being able to come out to play and did women want sex at sixty and all manor of other thoughts that as I say, got muffled whenever they popped into my head.

The thing is,  now I am in my sixtieth year, nothing is like I thought it would be.

For a start, I still want to have sex (A lot) (With my partner of 25 tears) I told you I was happy with one person. The other thing is, I still see the world through the eyes of a 24 year old and all of my guy friends who are in the fifties say the same. Oh don’t misunderstand; we’re not saying we are a bunch of studs performing sexual gymnastics at the drop of a hat. No. But we are still vibrant and the 1% still works and very well thank you. Don’t worry you don’t need to lock up your twenty something daughters. (That's pretty gross really)What I have found is that there is a wonderful sexuality and sensuality about a mature woman that is missing in a your girl. I can hear it now with the 30 and 40 something crowd of guys; “yeh right buddy.” But while we might have traded that frenetic flailing of body parts that we exhibited in our twenties for a more romantic and regal approach, the passion is still there and for many of my friends (Well, those who were willing to drop their guard a little and talk about it) alive and well 

The other thing that never went away is the joy of lingerie (No, not on me before you ask) and the drama that comes with it. That sense of anticipation and exhilaration. The thing is however as a woman gets to a certain age I am sure they question whether or not sexy lingerie is still as flattering as it was in their twenties and thirties. I can tell you the answer is yes. It may change a little to suite the maturity but yes, you still look amazing and goddess like to us men. The thing is, you need to believe it as well.

The challenge is to still make the time for romance and sex (They are not the same thing) while having worked a long day, run your now grown up children all over town and back, cooked dinner, done the laundry and a myriad of other things which do not make you feel sexy and seductive. We need to make the effort. It’s okay to have a few love handles. You will rarely look the way you did when you were 24 and your destination may be a warm bed instead of the kitchen table. Although I never thought that I would still have a sex drive at all at 60, so maybe the kitchen table is still in reach.

The thing that we don't want to celebrate in our fifties is that we are still sexy, vibrant people who have a desire and a passion. One day it will be time to call it a day, but until that day comes (No pun intended) make the most of the desire.

Live Passionately, Ask Why!

Lee

On Being Sixty. Week One Of Fifty-Two

Week One Of Fifty-Two. 

What strikes me, is how important one week is. 

It is more important to me now that I am on the down side of my life span. What I also realise is that I would have benefited more in life if I had understood that distinction in my younger years. But, I didn’t and it doesn’t matter. That is also something of value that I have learned this week, this week one of fifty-two. The distinction, that all of the worry and regret that I didn’t truly understand until now, will not change the fact that the value of every second of my life was important. So in setting this goal of achieving the sixty things in this next year has allowed me to see the value of my life and the time that I have gifted to me by the miracle of being alive at all. I have an opportunity every minute of every day to live life to it's fullest.

One of the unexpected things that has come from this endeavor, is the feeling of my own humanity. I, like many people my age, am confronted with the fact that I will someday be a memory and not a reality. One day I will run out of days. All of my dreams and plans will simply disappear along with the passing of my life. So what then is the reason for the time we are allotted, what are we here to do?

Why? This is a question I have been asking myself a lot lately. Why do I do the things I do? What is the reason that is behind me getting up in the morning and going to work? Why did I want to have children? Why do I love my wife so much even though we have had our difficult times? So difficult in fact that any sane person (Including my wife) might have quit in search of a better option, but we didn't. At least that question I can answer; I love my wife so much that the thought of not having her in my life seems unbearable. It seems to me that a part of my body would be missing. It seems a crime that all of the growing together through thick and thin just to throw it all away would be a sin.

The rest and the reason why, is going to be at the forefront of my thinking and discovery over the next year. In fact that is the reason for wanting to achieve the sixty things. I did not know that when I started out with the list, I just thought it would be cool to say I had ticked them all off. It’s the journey. I know that’s a cliché, but it’s true. I just had to grow a little in order to understand that distinction.

In week one I have completed two of the items from my checklist. I have worked on several others and I have grown emotionally and spiritually. I have spent more time with my family and I think become a slightly better person. Today I went fishing with Paige. Paige is seven and she is willing to fail because as yet, society has not  been allowed to infect her with a value on failure other than the fact that it is just part of learning. We had a great couple of hours at the lake, we caught a fish and we shared in a common bond of simply being. 

Failure is part of the journey it happens to all of us.

Lee

On Being Sixty: 60 Things To Do Before I Am 60

Sixty Things To Do Before I am Sixty!

1. Write a list of sixty things to do
2. Complete and submit my screenplay
3. Finish three more screenplay drafts, based on the ideas that I have
4. Go to Venice and stand on the Realto
5. Go to Vienna
6. Finish Paige’s Room
7. Finish Erin’s room
8. Get my Headshots done
9. Get my teeth fixed
10. Paint a great piece of art for the house
11. Pay off all of the excess owed on loans etc
12. Sell all of the copies of Esmeralda (that’s worth £12,000) @ £5.99 each
13. Complete the front and rear gardens
14. Complete push it for Peace
15. Complete the London 10 K
16. Complete the London Triathlon 2015 in less than one hour!
17. Qualify to ware GB Colours
18. Re do the kitchen
19. Fix the Oven and Hob
20. At least three romantic weekends away with Chris
21. Redecorate our bedroom and make it passionate
22. Blog 60 times
23. Get 60 followers for my Blog
24. Reach 2000 followers for my twitter account
25. Design and build a fitted wardrobe in our room
26. Create £5,000 in a savings account
27. Handwrite at least 12 letters to Ryan
28. Re-condition my car
29. Buy a new camera Cannon 70D
30. Improve on my website
31. Apply for a promotion
32. Refocus my Kindle Books and publish at least six
33. Start a family tree
34. Organize all of our photos into albums
35. Convert our video into edited digital
36. Be willing to fail!
37. Do an amazing Halloween setup at the house
38. Disney Paris
39. Do something special for Christmas
40. Complete all of the Christmas shopping by Thanksgiving
41. Go Camping with Paige
42. Go fishing with Paige until she catches her first fish on her own
43. Visit my family in Stockport
44. Make a short film
45. Replace Chris’s Wedding Band
46. Teach a monologue coaching class
47. Learn 4 Monologues
48. Go to the Theatre at least four times with Erin
49. Raise £500 for charity
50. Take my two days from work and volunteer for charity
51. Be a better listener
52. Visit the beach where my mothers ashes were spread
53. Go camping on my own and spend that time alone to reflect
54. Replace the dish washer
55. Claim back the conservatory
56. Sort and throw out all unwanted items to make room in the house
57. Grow a wall garden with Paige 2015
58. Do something green for the house Photo or wind
59.  Attend my In-laws 50^th Wedding anniversary
60. Spend time with my Son and Daughter-in-law

Think Positive, Ask Why! 

Lee

On Being Sixty

On August 23^rd 2014 I entered into my 60^th year. To be clear, I am 59. I find this both jolting and amazing. 

When I look back to when I was ten and think of the life expectancy of many of my Grandparents generation, it strikes me immediately how fortunate I am to live in a time when health and longevity are so much better than of those times. Both of my Grandfathers died at age 65 of a similar lung condition brought on by the working environment they were exposed to. I look at my life now and I am extremely grateful that I am not only healthy but that my generation in general is in a much better position to face our future. I have just finished my second London Triathlon along with many my age. While I realise that this is not Earth shattering stuff I am happy that I can look forward to what appears at the moment, a long and healthy future ahead of me.

It struck me that in this last year of the decade of my fifties, I should mark it with a yearlong celebration of my life. What could I do, where could I go and what landmarks might I achieve if I put all of my focus towards those goals? I work very hard and I love my job, but I know how easy it is to let that define the person we are. Nothing wrong with that you might say, however I don’t want my life to have been all work and no play.

I am going to write on this blog sixty times and chronicle the next year of my life. I blog because it is the way we do things these days. An online diary, a letter to the world and a way of sharing what is important to me. I think that is why so many people Blog. If it touches one other person, so be it and if not then at least I will have a diary that I hope will inspire my Children to examine their lives and in doing so, live better ones.

I am also creating a list of 60 things I want to do before I am 60. At first glance that does not seem like a lot, but when you think there are only 52 weeks in a year, suddenly that brings the year into focus. I will post the list when it is complete which should be within the next week. Some of the items are quite large and some no so much, but put together they make up a year of doing rather than of talking about. I hope I am left with a wonderful list of achievements on my 60^th birthday and not a list of regrets and could have been.

I hope you will join me with your own list of things to do before your next birthday. Let’s make the world a little better for having spent a year together.

Live Passionately, Ask Why!

Lee

Biker Dad. Training Is Paying Off!

Training Is Paying Off

It makes sense really, the harder you work the better results you get. That is of course if you are doing the right thing. Einstein did say after all: Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

At the moment that appears not to be the case. At the end of my first week of training I seem to be moving in the right direction and my times for each leg of the of the super sprint reflect that work.

10K Ride 28.41

Swim 9.34

Run 17.04

Have a great week!

Lee